Who Will Buy Tesla When It Goes Bankrupt?

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Tesla insiders are racing to unload their shares in the company while they still can. Yahoo reports that Robyn Denholm, the chair of the Tesla board of directors, recently sold 112,390 shares valued at approximately $33.7 million, according to a recent SEC filing. Denholm sold the same number of shares last month for about $43.2 million. Over the past year, she has offloaded more than 65% of her holdings in shares and options, totaling roughly $168 million before taxes. Her sales are part of a broader trend among Tesla insiders. CFO Vaibhav Taneja and board member Kimbal Musk have similarly reduced their stakes. Taneja sold 6,000 shares on the same day, valued at approximately $1.76 million, as disclosed in another SEC filing.

How interesting, These insiders are bailing out like rats deserting a sinking ship. Do you think their doing so has anything to do with proprietary knowledge gained by being inside the Tesla board room? Nah, no one would be that blatant, would they? But it is curious that rather than lifting a finger to rein in the man who made them all multi-millionaires, they are now cashing out just as Musk is using his famous chainsaw to eviscerate the federal government. And oh, by the way, while firing tens of thousands of federal employees, he is also working to stymie a number of federal investigations into his companies. Remember, this is a man who up and moved his company headquarters because a health official in Fremont, California, ordered the company to abide by state and local Covid procedures. Elon lost his shit over that and things have gone steadily downhill since then.

Buyers For Tesla

Around the fondue pot at CleanTechnica global headquarters this afternoon, several members of our team of crack reporters began asking who might buy Tesla once Elon drives the company over a cliff and into bankruptcy, The list is long and makes for interesting reading. Maybe Henrik Fisker would be interested. He has already bankrupted several companies, so he has a lot of experience dealing with red ink. He could revive Tesla by making plug-in hybrid cars like his Fisker Karma that burst upon the scene in 2011 and flamed out the following year. The Fisker Ocean looked like it had possibilities a few years ago before it also sank out of sight. My colleague Maarten Vinkhuyzen was quite impressed with the Ocean, but it takes more than one sale to make a new model a success. Maybe if Maarten had bought a few dozen of them it would have helped.

Then there is Tony Aquila, who got Canoo to pay $1.7 million to cover the expense of using his private jet — twice the company’s revenue for the year. He has now graciously offered to buy the remaining assets of the company, which are valued at $145 million, for $4 million. He could use the Canoo skateboard to build the new Tesla models the company so desperately needs since Elon refused to update the Tesla passenger car lineup for the past 5 years. Perhaps Tesla owners could swap different bodies onto the basic chassis the way Canoo wanted to do with its “top hat” concept. A less likely candidate, but one who should still be considered, is Steve Burns, the entrepreneur behind Workhorse and Lordstown Motors who is always on the lookout for the next new thing.

Corporate Suitors For Tesla

Chances are it will take more than one or two entrepreneurs to pull Tesla’s chestnuts out of the fire. What corporations do we know that might possibly be interested? This is where things get complicated. Any one of the so-called Big Three automakers in the US might be a candidate. Tesla doesn’t make anything that Stellantis would be interested in, but GM and Ford might have a use for the Tesla factories in California and Texas, if not the cars themselves.

Both might love to get their hands on the Tesla Supercharger network. But neither would want the factory in Grünheide, Germany. For that, we would expect either Mercedes or BMW to be somewhat interested. Volkswagen is already in the midst of closing some of its factories in Germany, so it is probably not a candidate. In China, the Shanghai factory could be an appealing option for any number of new energy vehicle companies, but it seems clear the most likely candidate would be BYD, which has already embarked on an ambitious plan to eat Tesla’s lunch in markets around the world.

A possible wild card in a Tesla bankruptcy might be Taiwan’s Foxconn, which is sniffing around Nissan to see if there might be a business opportunity there. That idea clearly has the Japanese government spooked and so that is unlikely to happen. Hyundai Motor Group has the resources but is executing a long term business strategy that is working quite well. It is probably not interested in anything Tesla has to offer. Honda is cozying up to Sony and seems to have more than enough on its plate.

The Perfect Fit

Having weighed all the options in the balance and found them wanting for one reason or another, what are we left with? There is one company that would be in an ideal position to take over Tesla, fire its do-nothing board of directors, and re-brand the company. That company, of course, is Apple.

Now don’t laugh. Think about this for a moment before you dismiss the idea. Who did Elon call years ago when Tesla was on the verge of bankruptcy? Tim Cook. Where did Elon once say Tesla engineers went to die when they left the company? Apple. What better way for Apple to capitalize on the billions of dollars it has already invested in the idea of bring an electric car to market via its secretive Titan project? Of all the companies in the world that have the cash and the technical resources to take Tesla and make it the leader in electric transportation, Apple is in the best position to erase the stigma Elon has placed on the Tesla brand.

You don’t hear Tim Cook running around telling people “FUCK YOU in your face” or see him taking a slurp of horse tranquilizer to get through that day. Nor do you see him sharing a doobie with Joe Rogan. He doesn’t waste time sending 200 or more posts on anti-social media every day. Tesla desperately needs quiet, thoughtful leadership, which is something Apple could provide plenty of. Then we could all take those “Bought it before I knew Elon was insane!” bumper stickers off our Model 3s and Model Ys and hold our heads high again. Apple could even get Herbert Diess to run its car division. Wouldn’t that be something?

You might be wondering if this is an April Fool’s joke, but sadly it is not. Elon has conspired to destroy Tesla and shows no intention of stopping his assault on reason. If he remains in charge of Tesla, the company he built is doomed. RIP Tesla, and hello to whatever is next.